Teamwork

“Suke-san! Long time, no see!”

I looked up, twitching at the nickname, and forced a smile for Kaien. “I told you to stop calling me that, Kaien-kun.”

“Not until the day I finally have the privilege of calling you ‘chan’!” he boasted loudly, like it would be the greatest achievement known to man. Knowing him, he probably thought it was. “So, anyway – how things goin’ with you and aniki? I haven’t seen him in ages, what with my crazy schedule.”

I shrugged, feigning indifference. “Same old, same old. What about you? How’s being a seated officer treating you?”

“Great! I even met this killer girl, she’s got some amazing legs.” I could practically see the little hearts in his eyes. Whoever this girl was, he was infatuated with her already. “Soooooo … you fucked aniki yet?” he asked curiously, doing a complete 180 on the conversation’s topic.

Scowling at how persistent the kid could be, I looked back down to the notes in my lap and continued reading. I flipped a page, disregarding Kaien. The silent treatment was always the best stand-by tactic.

“Awww, come on, Suke!” He paused, rubbing at his chin in apparent deep thought. “Ah! I know. I worded it wrong, didn’t I?” I kept my eyes on the notes, restraining the urge to throttle a fellow comrade. “Has aniki fucked you yet?”

“Kaien-kun!” I shot him a look. “What ever happened to that cute, sweet, adorable kid I use to know?!”

Kaien mused on this, dropping down to take a seat beside me under the tree. Coming to a conclusion, he pumped a triumph fist in the air. “I know! Hormones!”

“Nooo! Anything but that,” I remarked dryly, flicking him on the forehead. “Are you here for any other reason than to disrupt my peaceful time in the courtyard?” Kaien was one of the few who knew I liked reading in this spot – if he wanted me for some reason, he had only to check here or my lab. Most of the time I could be found in those two places, if I wasn’t off with Yoruichi. This led me to believe he needed something from me. And from the way he had been so persistent about me and my ‘love life’, it obviously concerned Isshin and me.

He smiled disarmingly, trying to catch me off-guard. “Weeeeell, now that Suke-san mentions it …”

“I refuse to help you with your foolish schemes.”

“It’s not foolish!” I gave him a look. “Okay, okay!” He held up his hands defensively. “Maybe it is … but I really like this girl, Suke-san! And my plan, I think it’ll win her over big time! I just need you and aniki to help me out …”

“I’m guessing you’re afraid to confront him directly about this, so I’ll be the one doing that, too?” I narrowed my eyes at him, closing my notebook so I could smack him with that and not have the loose papers inside go flying everywhere. He nodded and I slapped him soundly upside the head with my chosen weapon – the notebook. “You idiot! Isshin will probably congratulate you and whatnot. He’d be much more cooperative than me at the very least.”

“Well, aniki tends to … uh, take things a little over-board?” Kaien muttered a bit sheepishly. “And you kind of keep him in his place, so I figured you guys would work well together for what I had in mind …”

“… If this concerns me cross-dressing, I will not be a part of it,” I cut in before he could start in on the explanation. Kaien looked disappointed. “Last time I did that, Byakuya fucking hit on me. It mentally scarred me for life.”

“All right, fine. No cross-dressing. How about the good guy-bad guy angle?”

I thought that over, weighing the pros and cons. “We won’t need Isshin for that, though. I could play the bad guy role and you could ‘come to her rescue’. How’s that sound?”

“Suke-san is so awesome!” He glomped onto me instead of the other way around for once, squeezing me tightly in a bone-crushing hug I hadn’t expected him to be capable of. “No wonder nii-san likes you so much!”

“Need. Air. Kaien!”